Let's hope this doesn't bite me in the...

So I'm new to this "blogging" thing. Feels like I'm passing around my diary for all my friends to see. I just hope writing things down doesn't bite me in the ass. It has before - one time when I was 15 and my mom read my diary. But we won't get into that. I'm a grown-up now. So opening myself up can lead to grown-up consequences. I'm not sure what those are, but I'm sure they are out there - waiting for me. I've had this account open for a while. I wanted to write - started to - deleted it - turned the computer off.

I praise Marty ability to just put it all out there. Sure, the only people reading absolutely love her. But even so, it's scary. To put things out there for he world, first you have to admit it to yourself. That's big! I'm not that big. I'm ok lying to myself. It makes the world less scary.

So yes, I have sat here and over thought writing in a blog. I'm not that interesting, so it's not like it's about to become the new Perezhilton.com. Yet, I keep hesitating. Even as a write - I want to hit the delete button, or just shut the computer. But I won't. I will post this - I will regret it later, I am sure. But like Stewart Smiley (I'll give you a few minutes to google him) - I will not edit!!

It's like my hesitations confirm what I've known all along. I'm a closed person. I don't want to let people in. I'm ok. being the b*tch, the Ice Princess (my nickname at work). I don't know why letting people in scares me so much. I'm social, I get along with people. I just don't get too close. The last few times I've gotten close to someone, it's turned out bad. The only common denominator is me - did I say too much? Did I get too close? If you as W - I did. For the time being - I think this blog is going to be my little secret. A secret that's published online - for all the virtual world to see. That's big. I might have to delete it.

Someone just have the first aid kit ready in case it does bite me!